Aging out
As the baby boomers turn into generation me, we often find that our beloved
rock idols that we grew up with seem out of sorts and out of place. I mean
we all want catch that last glimpse of springsteen playing thunder road, or
mick jagger belting satisfaction, or eddie van halen shredding eruption.
But at some point havent we’ve seen enough of some old dude who might
resemble and sound a bit like david lee roth…but is just some dick on
stage who can’t hit notes and acts like a retard. Its called aging out.
That should not only apply to rock stars but to the pioneers and geriatrics
in the merch biz. So I hereby propose this. Instituting an age limit of
54. Once you hit that, you merch company presidents, consultants and hanger
ons should hit the pavement…or dirt, cause you are no longer relevent.
So I am calling out furano, lubin, perry, sokoloff, drinkwater, fingerette
and any others to just hang it up. I mean your offspring are telling you
what to do anyways and are trying to make it without having any actual
experience or knowledge. For years you’ve had that trusty left hand man (or
gal) guiding every signing….but let’s face it, there’s no way they could
ever be relevant either.
Time to make way for the new young bucks who are already causing waves and
actually signing bands that the kids want to listen to and buy shirts for.
I mean anyone can sell a Led Zeppelin shirt to, well, anyone. But it takes
actual skill to be able to scout, sign and correctly merchandise a band who
doesn’t even have a record deal, but has 4 million myspace plays on like 5
different tracks. You old dudes can barely read emails, much less understand
what a “pop” color is. You have to be able to think outside the box, and
its just not physically attainable once you’ve passed 53 years and 364 days.
For all in favor of ratifying this important merchandising legislation,
please indicate your vote.
